Foreign Friend News Blog

I woke up this morning with a strong desire to write a short article of encouragement for foreign language students.

Teaching English to foreigners has been one of my biggest investments of my time for eight years now. I have worked online (largely with Europeans), and I have worked on the ground in Zimbabwe and Vietnam. Every culture I have encountered as a teacher has been different in the way it affects students’ attitude to studying. However, one habit that permeates all cultures is this: students denigrate and belittle themselves – constantly!

How to Speak English Fluently and Confidently: Make Mistakes

Of course, making mistakes is not comfortable for anyone. However, students need to realise and accept that trying to avoid the discomfort of making mistakes is detrimental to your learning. I would say it is the second biggest hindrance to education, the first being lack of engagement – but that is a subject for another article. Judging yourself for your mistakes is not a habit that can be changed quickly, since most cultures teach us to be ashamed of making mistakes, but it is a habit that requires conscious awareness if you want to break it. I’m here to tell you that if you want to progress in your English fluency, you are resolutely going to have to break this habit. This applies to students learning English online as well is in classroom environments.

The school systems in Europe are very interesting to me as a South African because the basic education level in my own country abandons a large proportion of our citizens. We have a dangerously high level of uneducated people in South Africa. On the one hand I am sincerely impressed by the basic level of English taught in most European countries. Ninety percent of the students I have worked with over the years all arrived at their first class with the ability to hold a very basic conversation and this deserves merit!

On the other hand, I have also noticed that with that ability comes a powerfully entrenched belief (particularly by French students) that the mistakes they make are what marks their progression. They tell themselves that they will praise themselves only once they are making less mistakes than before, once they reach a certain level, they set for themselves in their minds, but they just keep moving that benchmark forwards. They get angry at themselves in a deeply visceral and psychological manner. They become visibly uncomfortable, and this is hurtful to witness as a teacher. Added to this is the seemingly uncontrollable compulsion students have to say sorry after every… single… mistake they make.

Being aware of our mistakes is a key necessity when improving our learning, no one can deny that. Obsessing over your mistakes makes learning painful and literally starves your progress, no one can deny that either. Let’s unpack this a bit, shall we?

The latest scientific research suggests that up to ninety-five percent of our behaviour is unconscious.  That is a massive amount! Unconscious behaviour is what forms our beliefs and beliefs are what form our experience of reality. Where do we learn our behaviours from? We learn these from our upbringing and our culture which are both profoundly influenced by society. Is society all bad? No, it isn’t, but it’s very far from healthy too. Society teaches us to compete, to compare, to be the best in everything, to always produce more no matter what effect that has on our minds, bodies, and hearts. These are unhealthy behaviours that form unhealthy, unconscious beliefs about what progress should look like. So, every time you choose to place your focus on your mistakes, because you have a deeply entrenched, unconscious belief that you are stupid or unworthy, this is exactly what you experience.

Now, I want you to try a little experiment for me. The next time you make a mistake, reassure yourself that you are an intelligent, creative person who faces challenges with self-respect and curiosity. Chances are you will feel uncomfortable speaking to yourself in this way because it conflicts with the unconscious beliefs that you have. You will want to reject these thoughts as untrue. You will not believe them at first. However, research also shows us that the key to reprogramming the unconscious mind is through changing our feelings associated with our beliefs. The only way you are going to change your feelings about what you believe is to begin loving yourself into a different self-narrative.

Think about it… would you rather be uncomfortable because you believe you are stupid or be uncomfortable because you are learning to reprogram your reality? I know which choice I made .

Foreign Friend – Learning English Online

You will experience many hurdles while learning to speak English, but hurdles help you grow and improve.

It’s important to not take yourself too seriously during the learning process. When you learn English online with Foreign Friend, you will experience a comfortable environment which is free from judgement and our lessons are built on having fun while learning.

Click here to find out more about learning English online with Foreign Friend.